Second - Track I

The smart-looking interviewer who was taking my interview for the post of a technical writer said "if you get this job, you will be working under me."

Second-Track answered "Now that is an interesting proposition!!!"

The short interviewer was trying to get on to his chair, which was too high for him. He was literally jumping.

Second-Track queried "Do you want me to get a ladder for you?"

The other day J.K. Rowling said she may have to kill two characters in the last book of her Harry Potter series and obviously that meant Voldermont and Harry Potter. She added that all good things have to come to an end.

Second-Track wonders: Then what about God. Isn't it high time that HE came to an end?

I was reading Memoirs of a Geisha by Aurthur Golden and was reminded very strongly of the book Umrao Jan Ada by Mirza Ruswa (1905) and a movie of the same name by Muzzafar Ali (1981).

Second Track notices: Why was not Umrao Jan Ada an International best seller? Perhaps, Mirza Ruswa had a shade darker skin than Aurther Golden.
________________________________________________________________

Corporate Jungle

This post contains small poems that describe in Orwellian style people in the Corporate World:

A Lamb’s Story

I was a naive lamb strutting around in the Forest
Thinking I knew the Forest, its cunning creatures and its ways
Until, I saw a pack of wolves
Who ate me, burped and walked away

_____________________________________

Snake Spews its Plot

Slither silently

Let them not know

Bite gently

Watch the venom spread

Let the victim writhe

I merely enjoy the scene

___________________________________

Peacock's Tale

I walk around in beauty and magnificience

I talk eloquent and attract everyone

I know how much you love me

I know you will never know

That I do not care

____________________________

Hyena's Last Laugh

I smile a pretty smile

I make you my friend

You step ahead of me

That is when I bite

And watch your death - your end

You will never know its me

Coz I will always have the last laugh

_____________________________

Dog's Laps

I will lick your feet neat

My Master sweet

I shall be there for you

And I shall be always true

A loyal slave

like me, you shall ne'er find

_____________________________________

Donkey Unburdens

I toil night and day

Yet, everybody takes my credit away

I take pains to please everyone

Carry their burden

When I need help

No one comes forward

I am all alone in the jungle

____________________________________

Owl's Rhapsody

I toil night and day

I care two hoots to what others say

I work my feathery ass away

I'm not anyone's favourite

Nor anyone's prey

I do my job, take my pay

Go home in time every single day

Trivia I

Who is Murphy.. I hate him. Had he not coined those damned laws, I would have!!
______________________________________________________________________
When you badly want something, you can be sure that you will never have it. With this in mind, if you desire for something that you do not actually want, then you surely will get it. In short, you do not have any right to want for anything. You will always get what you dislike, detest and hate. Its God's way of disposing ugly things and situations that he creates.
______________________________________________________________________

An Ode to God: The Careless Soul Above Us All

On his glorious throne
Sits God, the Almighty
Deciding life for us - creatures puny
Playing us like puppets
And enjoying the dramatics

Do you even know
That we - puny creatures - feel
Like some unpaid actors,
Of a bad, third-rated show,

God, do you, even care
How we manage
This non-descript, boring life
That you so imaginatively create

Thanks to your abominable direction
We find overselves in fruitless situations
Help, from you, we can fine none
Bear it all until we are dead and done.

Trivia

I was trying to peel a banana off its skin, but the skin stuck on. The banana no longer "appeals"
___________________________________________________________________
Most parents name their children on some quality or the other. For eg. Sushma: beautiful, Shalini: the elegant one, Pratibha: Fame, Deepa: Lamp/Light.
My parents named me Sujatha: a girl born in a good family. Did they have to glorify themselves using my name? I could never understand.
____________________________________________________________________ Calvin says never argue with a barber who has scissors in his hand... I add... Never argue with a person holding a steering wheel, you may never know when he may get vindictive and push the vehicle into the nearest man-hole.
____________________________________________________________________ I never believed Mother Teresa... Always called her Miss. Goody-two-shoes. I think she had a hole in her sole..oops... soul.
____________________________________________________________________ My friend is comming down for a day or two. She has no place to go. So I asked my landlady, if she could let my friend stay for a day or two in my room, which has no other occupant except me. So my landlady tells me, I will have to pay 200 bucks per day for the room and 50 extra per day for food. I was wondering who is more greedy, she or shylock?

ME: Mirror, Mirror on the Wall,
Who is the Greediest of them all.

Mirror: Your landlady if, on that, I could have a call.
____________________________________________________________________ My friend is born on July 13th. Yesterday he told me it was a Friday the day he was born. I asked him.. "so are you Satan?"
He replied .. "No, I am Sultan of Sin." Refer Mark Knopfler.....
____________________________________________________________________ My team mates have excellent team spirit.... They become a team whenever they have to drink spirit!!!!
____________________________________________________________________ I asked my lead, who just had a long vaction," Hope you had a good vacation." To which, she replied "Thanks." This lady is very pretty. I was wondering after the conversation whether she was pretty or dumb. I decided she was pretty dumb.
____________________________________________________________________ What is heaven for ants? I mean when is an ant most happy. Yes, it is being placed in a cup of sugar. But, have you noticed that if you keep an ant in a cup of sugar, it dies. This proves that too much happiness kills you.
____________________________________________________________________
The time you come to your office is inversely proportional to the distance between your home and office. I mean the if you are late to the office, it means your home is very close to it. And if you live at least 15 kilometers from the office, you would reach office at least 15 mins early. This theorm is universally applicable.
____________________________________________________________________

My Jokes

On the annual house-cleaning day, the husband tells the wife: "Wifey, we should throw out all useless things"
Wife nods, picks up the broom and sweeps her husband out!!

Q: What do you call the child of a couple who are poets?
A: Couplet

Q: Why do you congratulate a couple who are in the family way?
A: Its another way to say "Hey Guys!! Great!! You finally got it right"

Q: If movies like Bridget Jones's Diary are called a chick-flicks, what would you call movies like Mission Impossible - 1, 2, and 3

A: Dick-flick?

Second - Track

The otherday a minister said "We plan to give all kinds of 'aids' to people."

Second-Track replied: Good idea!! how about syphilis and gonorrhea too!!!

Sonia Gandhi did not like the new Saral form.

Second-Track says: India has two presidents A.P.J. Abdul Kalam and Manmohan Singh.. We need to elect a new prime minister!!!

I was hearning Himesh Reshmiyya's song "Jhalak Dikhlaja"

Second-Track comments: Himesh's body is an excellent example of business process outsourcing. His vocal cords have oursourced their process to the wind pipe.

I read 12 pages of Chetan Baghat's one night@call center

Second-Track critiques: Chetan, I know you saw a pretty face and was forced to write the story, but haven't you heard of selective amnesia... remember the pretty face and forget the story.

I was seeing Fanaa and wondered what would I have done if some crazy tour-guide was doing dumb "shero-shaiyri"

Second-Track says: I would have said "Mr. Gha lib... Ghet lost" I wonder why Zooni never said that!!

I asked my friend what happened if Dog became the new God. He said "People would then fight in the name of Dog." Many people thought that was stupid. I thought that was smart

Second-Track comments: Yeah!! Fools think alike!!

I read somewhere that you should be either born rich, clever or lucky. If you are born lucky, you compensate for the rest.

Second-Track notes: You are born with none of them. How do you plan to survive!!!

I was watching Donald Trump's "The Apprentice." That man blows his own "trump"et

Second-Track explains: He has enough trumpets. He could blow all of them if he wants. It is his humility that he blows only one at a time.

My Quotes

The light from a train at the end of a tunnel is God's idea of a joke!!!

Life and I have estranged... I need alimony!!!

Men are like temples... You have visited one.. you have visited them all...

If the choice is between devil and the deep sea.. I'd choose devil.. at least I'd have interesting company.....

Hinduism has excellent customer care service: 330 million Gods for 900 million Hindus, which means approximately 1 God for every 2 Hindu.

Men can go for a drink anywhere ... whether it is well or hell.....

People who enjoy their lives to the maximum die early and people who pray for death daily actully live the longest lives.

Cigarette packs should have statutory warning: Getting smoked by humans is injurious to our healths.

What is "Trashh Can.....

Description: This blog basically is the Trash Can where I dump all the trash that enters my head. Now, as for its spelling. INo, I am not numerologically inclined. It is basically Tra"shh" Can. These are my words of wisdom (rather pearls of wisdom) that would make me an embarrassment if revealed in public. They are "shh" matters... If I actully try and tell people all this crap, then they sure would put me into a mental asylum. So I choose the blog to dump my words of wisdom. And, since my brain is very productive in terms of creating A-grade trash , I need a place to dump all this stuff.

By now it should be clear to the poor sod reading this blog that I suffer from Cerebral Diarrhea. And this blog is a curative for the infection that I suffer from. In short... Trashh Can is the dumpster where I dump all the crap that my brain churns.

The blog will mainly contain my quotable quotes/pearls of wisdom/trash etc. Some of it are weird, nasty comments from a voice in my head that I call "second-track. " Second-Track has an opinion on everything. I will be jotting down its opinions in the blog

The blog could also contain my poems and short stories... all trash products of my brain.

So Enjoy Reading Ye Invisible Folks!!!